Attempting normalcy

Been back here in Tokyo for almost two weeks. The first week back was rough for the jet lag. Most days I couldn't stay awake and would take 3 to 6 hour "naps". I'm not sure that six hours of sleep can be considered a "nap". Addison was sleeping a lot too. Since there was no possible way that I could watch her, I put her in her crib - the safest place if I'm out of commission. Don't know if she slept as much as me. Addy was always asleep when I went to get her, but I have no way of knowing when she started sleeping.

Anyway... This week has been better. I've stayed awake all day long. Last night however, I was asleep at 8:45. But, that could be the depression.

On Monday I saw a grief counselor at TELL (Tokyo English Life Line). She is Japanese, but fluent in English. I don't have near enough language skills to speak with a Japanese-speaking counselor. I'll see her again next week. On Tuesday I was able to get more meds. I saw an American doctor. Have to tell you about him. The man is honestly at least 75 years old. He's been in Japan since 1951. He had been a doctor in the service and had been stationed in Korea prior to coming to Japan. Nice old guy, still very sharp.

I had language lessons last week and this week. This week we went to play group, but no one was there. Maybe it's summer break and I don't know it. Still not back into all my chores. Next week Ian is on break. The company is on a shut-down of sorts. Most companies shut down for at least a week during August. We'll be heading to Hokkaido, the northern-most island on Wednesday and be there until Saturday. We are flying there. The flight is pretty short - about an hour and a half I think. We're spending one day in Sapporo, the capital of Hokkaido and two days at Lake Toya. We're staying right on the lake and we hope to see fireworks while we're there. We also hope to enjoy a hot spring while at Lake Toya.

I feel weird trying to be normal. My life isn't normal. What happened to Jason isn't normal. I go through these motions, but nothing's the same. All the things I do I think about the fact that Jason will never do them again. I want to call him all the time. I just want to talk to him. That would be normal.